Five Love Languages

Are you familiar with the five love languages? Christian psychologist Gary Chapman is best known for his work “The Five Love Languages.” Whether it is our spouse, our children, co-workers, those we interact with in the body of Christ, or even God, each one of us has a love language.

Dr. Chapman says as people come in all varieties, shapes and sizes, so do their choices of expressions of love. More often than not, the giver and the receiver express love in two different ways which can lead to misunderstanding, quarrels and even divorce. If we can learn to speak our loved ones love language (and remember Christ calls us to love everyone) we will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return—fill our love tanks! For example:

1. My love language is Words of Affirmation when I say: “I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me and for the simple, everyday things I do.”
2. My love language is Quality Time when I say: “I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.”
3. My love language is Receiving Gifts when I say: “I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts or other tangible expressions of love.”
4. My love language is Acts of Service when I say: “I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me with running errands or chores.
5. My love language is Physical Touch when I say: “I feel especially loved when a person expresses feeling for me through physical contact.

What love language are you? What about your spouse, members of your family—blood and church?

What our youth ministry has done in our church is first, teach the teens, in a small group setting, Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages (Resource: The Five Love Languages of Teenagers by Dr. Gary Chapman). We help each teen identify their primary love language. We want Jared or Tamara to comprehend how they need to receive love—how they want their love tank filled.

As the teens become more comfortable with understanding their own love language, they are encouraged to work on filling their family’s love tanks; and then their friends. We teach them that when they fill someone else’s love tank they get blessed because they are fulfilling God’s command, therefore, their love tank is filled.
Whether we are speaking to God or he is speaking to us, we are feeling God's love and presence most strongly in one particular way. By teaching teens to tap into that divine love, we can help them relate to God in a way that will totally revolutionize their will to love him and one another.

The next five blogs are going to be focused on the five love languages of God and how we can fill his love tank!